#AskChamee 01

5/10/2018


It's been long since I last updated my blog. Pardon the lack of update, I'm still trying to make things better this time, so I just thought of opening up a new segment labeled #AskChamee. If you have any questions, or just want to send a message, drop them on my Facebook page or shoot me an email: thisischamee@gmail.com. I'll try my best to answer them as possible. 


Q: How to tell a person that you don’t like him/her in a nice way? Or is there really a nice way? Hehe

Perceptions are subjective and while it’s completely valid not to like everybody, maybe we can also take time to explore at the reasons why we’re feeling such way towards another.  Perhaps, it could be because of something they did to us or the people around us. Or probably it’s because we heard something about them that made us jump into conclusions of how we view them. Regardless, before we consider telling another person we don’t like him/her, we could also evaluate first whether our perceptions of them are valid or not or better yet, try to see where this person is coming from, because I’d like to believe that each one of us is made according to the image and likeness of our Creator, thus, there could be an underlying goodness in each and every one that we just cannot see or appreciate.

Keep in mind that the people around us are those whom God refer to as our neighbors, and if we are to obey God’s commandment about our neighbors, He is asking us to love them, regardless of whether we like them or not. Not an easy thing to do all the time, but rest assured that God’s grace is always available to those who rely on Him.

Sometimes, it’s better to keep the moral high ground and try to hold these feelings in to avoid hurting the other person or damaging relationships, if there’s any. However, when push comes to shove, you can always choose to be brutally honest and pretty straightforward with that person, but bear in mind that how you behave towards another speaks more about your character than that of the person you do not like. Your intent of expressing how you feel should be inclined towards the best of both parties. There could be a nice way of telling them, but I’d like to believe there’s no absolute way because what appears nice to you won’t be nice to your recipient either. Words and actions are powerful weapons, so be careful how and when you use them – they can either build up or destroy.

But if ever that person has really pushed your buttons to their limits, or has unceasingly brought rain on your parade, it’s better to call him/her out instead of pretending everything’s fine when in reality it isn’t.  If you can’t help but be honest, then at least try to handle things the way you think God would handle you should you be in the position of the other person. Choose to be kind and do what you think is loving to that person, because I believe you’re the better person. If you have to call out a certain behavior that irked you, focus on that behavior, not on the entire person. I do believe that there’s no such thing as monopoly of goodness here on earth in the same way that there’s no monopoly of evil either. You can start by telling him/her the good traits/behavior you see in him/her, then proceed to what you think he/she needs to improve. Refrain from giving advices on what he/she must do rather, support her in exploring ways how she/he can best address the issues. Encourage him/her that she/he can always be better than what he/she already is. This is not easy to apply- this takes a lot of trial and error before we can master, but well, we can always try. Each of us is a work in progress.

But before doing anything else, don’t forget to PRAY. Ask God first as to how you can best address this issue you’re facing. Pray also for the guidance of the Holy Spirit and for the openness of heart and mind of both parties involved. Entrust everything to the God who knows what’s best and is control of all these things. If worse comes to worst, leave it all to God. 

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How about you? Let me know what you think about this situation in the comment section below. 



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