#AskChamee 01
5/10/2018
It's been long since I last updated my blog. Pardon the lack of update, I'm still trying to make things better this time, so I just thought of opening up a new segment labeled #AskChamee. If you have any questions, or just want to send a message, drop them on my Facebook page or shoot me an email: thisischamee@gmail.com. I'll try my best to answer them as possible.
Q: How to tell a person that you don’t like him/her in a nice way? Or is there really a nice way? Hehe
Perceptions are subjective and while it’s
completely valid not to like everybody, maybe we can also take time to explore
at the reasons why we’re feeling such way towards another. Perhaps, it could be because of something they
did to us or the people around us. Or probably it’s because we heard something
about them that made us jump into conclusions of how we view them. Regardless, before
we consider telling another person we don’t like him/her, we could also
evaluate first whether our perceptions of them are valid or not or better yet, try
to see where this person is coming from, because I’d like to believe that each
one of us is made according to the image and likeness of our Creator, thus,
there could be an underlying goodness in each and every one that we just cannot
see or appreciate.
Keep in mind that the people around us are
those whom God refer to as our neighbors, and if we are to obey God’s
commandment about our neighbors, He is asking us to love them, regardless of
whether we like them or not. Not an easy thing to do all the time, but
rest assured that God’s grace is always available to those who rely on Him.
Sometimes, it’s better to keep the moral
high ground and try to hold these feelings in to avoid hurting the other person
or damaging relationships, if there’s any. However, when push comes to shove, you
can always choose to be brutally honest and pretty straightforward with that
person, but bear in mind that how you behave towards another speaks more about your
character than that of the person you do not like. Your intent of expressing
how you feel should be inclined towards the best of both parties. There could
be a nice way of telling them, but I’d like to believe there’s no absolute way because
what appears nice to you won’t be nice to your recipient either. Words and
actions are powerful weapons, so be careful how and when you use them – they can
either build up or destroy.
But if ever that person has really pushed
your buttons to their limits, or has unceasingly brought rain on your parade,
it’s better to call him/her out instead of pretending everything’s fine when in
reality it isn’t. If you can’t help but
be honest, then at least try to handle things the way you think God would
handle you should you be in the position of the other person. Choose to be kind
and do what you think is loving to that person, because I believe you’re the
better person. If you have to call out a certain behavior that irked you, focus
on that behavior, not on the entire person. I do believe that there’s no such
thing as monopoly of goodness here on earth in the same way that there’s no
monopoly of evil either. You can start by telling him/her the good traits/behavior
you see in him/her, then proceed to what you think he/she needs to improve. Refrain
from giving advices on what he/she must do rather, support her in exploring
ways how she/he can best address the issues. Encourage him/her that she/he can always
be better than what he/she already is. This is not easy to apply- this takes a
lot of trial and error before we can master, but well, we can always try. Each
of us is a work in progress.
But before doing anything else, don’t
forget to PRAY. Ask God first as to how you can best address this issue you’re
facing. Pray also for the guidance of the Holy Spirit and for the openness of
heart and mind of both parties involved. Entrust everything to the God who
knows what’s best and is control of all these things. If worse comes to worst,
leave it all to God.
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How about you? Let me know what you think about this situation in the comment section below.
How about you? Let me know what you think about this situation in the comment section below.
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